I was scolding myself in my head for complaining being away from my husband for two Christmases now, and I realized how shallow it was compared to what happened to the victims of Typhoon Sendong. And just as I was pacifying myself of the sadness I was feeling...It finally dawned on me, I was faced with another sad truth...death of a very close relative, Tita Vivian. It was sudden and unexpected. And I feel like Tita Vivian has some unfinished business.There were no formal goodbyes nor premonitions, she just left.
I'm not gonna make up any stories on this blog. I wasn't her favorite niece as she wasn't my favorite Aunt. There were lots of unresolved issues between her family and mine. Over the years there had been as many relapses as attempts at recovery for our relationship. Each time, there was the promise of a different approach, a more mature way to handle misunderstandings, a new hope and the teary proclamation that things will be better. The relationship started stalling out as we stopped communicating that much after my grandma died, to "being civil" and then to ground zero.
Now, all of this came crashing down around me as I fear that there may be sadly nothing left for her family and mine, and that even starting anew might now be tattered to shreds, now that she is gone.
But my heart says otherwise. This I'm quite sure, I do not harbor any grudges and will continue to pray for her and her family's well being; I realized that life is indeed short. And that it wouldn't hurt to do something nice to people we have hated in one way or another. I am glad that I got to kiss her the last time we saw each other a few weeks back.
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