I'm finally getting up on that stage. And it has been 15 years long overdue.
There's a part of me that's very much like the Regine Velasquez song "Urong-Sulong".
Meaning, sometimes, I don't want to attend the graduation march but sometimes I look forward to it since that would mark the end of this chapter of my life. As I'm typing this blog entry, I'm still not sure of what to do.
The reason why I went back to college is for closure. I have worked in companies which I'm quite proud of and technically, I'm already okay with my career. But in spite of my long list of courses and certifications, deep in my heart there's still this empty space aching for that Bachelor's degree. And so, even though I was working full time, I went back to college a couple of years ago, to finish what I started. I didn't know how, but I was very clear with the "why".
As I am less than 24 hours away from my graduation rites, insecurities and inhibitions are swallowing me up. My focus is being directed to the not so good things like I'm the oldest in the batch, I don't have anything to wear, I don't have money etcetera etcetera. I just found myself coming up with reasons not to attend my graduation rites because I'm worried about what other people would say...and this is one of those times when I miss my husband. He knows the right words to say...always. But he's not around for now. So I have got to recall what he'd told me in the past. I'm not the type of person who cared for what other people would think. And it's a bit absurd to start caring for that now. I wonder why I seem to be affected...sign of old age perhaps? Maybe the reality of being separated from my husband has gotten into me.... I surely miss the dude.
Now going back to my dilemma. I have to make up my mind. My time is limited, so I should not waste it living someone else's life. I am not going to be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
I am actually proud of what I have achieved. I may have been foolish for waiting this long to get that degree. But it's because of this foolishness that made me hunger for more. I'm not quite sure yet, but I think I would like to add 3 more consonants in my name soon.
For now, I would just like to enjoy the title ---> Eng'r. Christine. Don't you just love the sound of that?
3 comments:
of course,i love the sound and i am so proud of you and of this blog...
you may include this talent of yours in your many assets!develop also your writing skills...you could also write and make it a profession!i have so many story ideas that you can write and submit it for television series, what do you think,hehehe!i love you my eldest and i am so proud of you...continue to be blessed all the time!make use of your GOD-given talents...
Thank you mommy... i love you mom....
congrats, ate kryz!
Post a Comment