The Party-Crasher in me...

What I love about spontaneity is that everything, though unplanned, would end up being wonderful if not perfect. And today was one of those spontaneous days that I got to be so happy about.

First things first. Let me share how this day went by. The usual stuff, I worked for 8 hours, and yes, i still grumble about that. Then I had to meet up with my cousin for a small business transaction. Then off I went to Rockwell Power Plant to meet with the MES88 girls. I didn't get my hopes up with the number of attendees but was glad to be graced with the presence of two pretty familiar faces. They say three's a crowd, but we get to have a good talk; Hmm...I remember doing most of the talking...well, at some point, I needed that "girl talk". But then the night was still young and we were able to agree on some important points in our Kick-off Alumni Party...I thought of crashing the MHS Grand Alumni...Well for many reasons: Some of the MES88 girls were there...I had to give the invitations that the MES88 boys need to distribute...And we had to get some ideas on what to have in an Alumni Party...

So I, together with my two lovely companies went to crash the MHS Alumni party. And the stubborn and spoiled that I am, refused to pay the entrance fee of Php50...hehe...not that I'm stingy, but I wasn't an alumni and it wouldn't be "crashing" if I paid right? But well, I'm surrounded by supporting friends, so my favorite SPO3 with the million dollar smile, sponsored the fee for the three of us.

The party was jam-packed! I got to see my cousin who was an alumni. That's a pleasant unplanned thing. I also get to enjoy faces of different people happy and excited to be there. Batches as old as 1977 were there. And it's just amazing how old memories could put a smile on anyone. As I was making my way through the crowd, I overheard some lady say to a small group of people, "O di ba crush mo ako nung araw?", and everyone jumped in the teasing. I couldn't help but smile. Those kind of conversation is always a part of class reunions. I also found myself saying, " Well let's just hope he's got a level-headed wife..." Crazy (yes crazy and not just jealous) wives and husbands are unwanted part of reunions too. Teehee!

Anyhow, I enjoyed being a spectator in this event. And just as I was about to declare that I was a bit disconnected in the event, I heard familiar names being acknowledged on stage. I heard my "ninang" and "ninong's" names called. I got excited about it. I suddenly felt that longing to see them.

Well, they are, after all, my second parents and I haven't seen them for ages! So I practically breezed going to the front row and yes...they were as excited as I was! And I got to feel that love and embrace that remained warm even after all these years...

There were small talk but of course, it was loud and "bitin" but the good thing is we got to exchange digits.

And apart from seeing my godparents, I also got to see my mom's good friends. I liked seeing them all. It brought back good memories of my childhood when I would visit my mom's school and get a glimpse of what she does during that time. And I got to thinking...maybe that's how my passion for teaching started.

And it gets better. I also got to see more MES88 ladies. And for party crashers, the events are absolutely exciting and awesome!

And having said that, I think, I would be crashing more parties in the days to come! Woohoo!!!

WEH...DI NGA???

Isang matalanghigang kwento mula sa bilibid...
Para sayo Bantay...
In English - For you Wa....
Wag nang Englishin! Alam na yun! Hahaha...

Gusto mo naman pala protektahan ang buena familia...
Eh bakit nag eeskandalo at nang eeskandalo ka sa FB?
Weh...di nga??

Humahawak ka kamo ng tao at nag aayos ng sigalot ng kumpanya...
Eh bakit di mo napangasiwaan ng maayos ang sarili mong emosyon?
Weh...di nga???

Hmm...si Mrs. S naman pala ang pathetic na me kasalanan ng lahat...
Eh bakit ikaw ang nagpuputok ang buchi at nagpupuyos ang damdamin?
Weh...di nga???

Walang kwenta pala si BFF ni Daddy...
Eh bakit mo tinawagan si BFF para makibalita tungkol ke Big Mama?
Weh...di nga???

Poor at kawawa pala ang walang malay na si Mr. S...
Eh bakit mega effort ka pang i-add siya sa Facebook?
Weh...di nga???

Bintang mo, mang aagaw ng jowa, pati chong-go inagaw...
Eh bakit ikaw lang ang may ganyang parehong chong-go?
Weh...di nga??

Sobrang desperada at grabeng inskeyora ka na...
Oh, eh di ba ikaw lang ang kanyang "my one & only"?
Weh...di nga???
Ay mali! Weh...HINDI NA!
Kaya naman pala...BOW...

PERSONA NON GRATA

An unwelcome person...That's how I am feeling for these past few days. Ironically, I can also proudly say that these are the same days that I delivered stunning results at work.

When I accepted this "planner" job in an industry where I have zero knowledge of; I knew that things aren't going to be easy. But I didn't expect the "planner" job would be...planner slash assistant to the VP-Operations slash project coordinator and a lot more slashes as days go by.

I have always been a believer of working hard and working smart. Nothing changed all these years. I have given my all if not everything with all the line of work I've engaged with. But none of my previous jobs took this much from me. I complain, heck, I complain a lot lately, but still, give my all. The only difference right now is that people start to hate me when I do my job well because if I do my job well, it would be pretty obvious that they aren't. I even think that one of these days, I might actually end up fist-fighting with someone at some point. And yes, that's still part of the job...

Anyway, I was reading this article about "persona non grata" and just couldn't pass up blogging about it as well because I know exactly how it feels to be one. So now, I would need to get used to people being silent when I enter the room where everybody would be obviously sitting straight up and literally hold their breath. It's good that I gained a couple of girlfriends right before I started doing the dirty jobs. Otherwise, I would've found myself eating alone at lunch.

So there, I guess being a "persona non grata" could be, after all, just a part of the job.

THERE IS A TIME FOR WAITING AND A TIME FOR DOING

I am one of the many who can't wait for the holidays. But I realized, when it's happening already, I forgot a few things. Now, as a planner by profession, I was actually processing my excellence. Okay, so this ain't the first time I felt unprepared for an occasion. I just might come up with a long list of "should've have's" for one event to another. As I was welcoming the year 2012, I had to admit I was contemplating and anticipating too much in the past that I forgot to be in that "moment" on most occasions.

There is a time for waiting.
I am a woman of action. I am not a big fan of press releasing the things I've done and the things I intend to do. And quite frankly, I think that's a waste of time. Time is valuable for me and so I hate to wait. The people I wait for more than 5 minutes before I get irate are either people I'm trying to impress or very important to me. My 13 years of marriage to a very loving and patient man helps a lot in teaching me to wait; to wait patiently if I might add. And it just dawned on me that waiting is not that bad at all.

There is a time for doing.
Right now, I'm faced with a struggle. Every part of me wants to act. But something in me tells me that what I need to do right now is to do nothing. It's kind of weird and ironic. Doing nothing is not my kind of thing. But for now, I surrender to that.

FROM HEARTACHE TO HOPE

I was scolding myself in my head for complaining being away from my husband for two Christmases now, and I realized how shallow it was compared to what happened to the victims of Typhoon Sendong. And just as I was pacifying myself of the sadness I was feeling...It finally dawned on me, I was faced with another sad truth...death of a very close relative, Tita Vivian. It was sudden and unexpected. And I feel like Tita Vivian has some unfinished business.There were no formal goodbyes nor premonitions, she just left.

I'm not gonna make up any stories on this blog. I wasn't her favorite niece as she wasn't my favorite Aunt. There were lots of unresolved issues between her family and mine. Over the years there had been as many relapses as attempts at recovery for our relationship. Each time, there was the promise of a different approach, a more mature way to handle misunderstandings, a new hope and the teary proclamation that things will be better. The relationship started stalling out as we stopped communicating that much after my grandma died, to "being civil" and then to ground zero.

Now, all of this came crashing down around me as I fear that there may be sadly nothing left for her family and mine, and that even starting anew might now be tattered to shreds, now that she is gone.

But my heart says otherwise. This I'm quite sure, I do not harbor any grudges and will continue to pray for her and her family's well being; I realized that life is indeed short. And that it wouldn't hurt to do something nice to people we have hated in one way or another. I am glad that I got to kiss her the last time we saw each other a few weeks back.

TO ERR IS HUMAN

I could only think of one word. FOCUS. But so far it doesn't seem to do its magic this time. To be more specific, I can't hide how disappointed I am with someone who told me that he needs to focus, and for him to achieve that, I would need to play the evil bitch. I would be the villain in his story. Every inch of me resent that. But it's his movie, I don't even get to see what's gonna happen next. I was just tagged as the wicked one as he shuts down everything on me. No explanations. No nothing. And this is the same friend who talked about having high regards for me. Who respected me since who knows when. And it's annoyingly funny that when he couldn't talk his way out of a minor misunderstanding, he just pulled someone nearby to take the bullet for him. I happen to be nearby. Don't get me wrong. This wimp is a friend and I would gladly take the bullet for my friends or maybe even for people who can't protect themselves. But what's hard for me to fathom is to let my friends lie for me. More so just to save my butt. Honesty may not always be the best policy for some. But it is my policy. I could be many things but there are certain things that I hold sacred and non-negotiable.

It's been a while. And I blog only when there's something of value to share or when I need an outlet. But for this blog, Im not sure. It's been some time now that I would wake up in the middle of the night...no nightmares, no bad dreams, heck not even peeing. I just automatically open my eyes. And then I start thinking about things, causing me to go into a tailspin, right into unhappiness. And no matter how many seminars I have facilitated about making better choices, I still find myself asking if the outer circumstances dictate how we are to feel. I get frustrated too, that sometimes I would tell myself that the outer seems real enough. So real that it bites and sometimes gives me a whack on the face. It is a struggle to pushback that thought and hold on to the truth that what created that outer is our inner. I am strong inside out. I am certain that consciousness is cause. I am aware as I am human at the same time. That's what I am dealing with right now...that tendency to just surrender to making mistakes because I'm human.

What Am I thankful for?

Today is Thanksgiving. And the farthest I've seen this celebration is via American films. When it comes to celebration, I love partying with Americans. They just know how to party hard. But hang on a second, Thanksgiving's not just for the Americans right? I mean, people got things to be thankful for...

For today, I would like to list down the things that I want to be thankful for:

I am thankful for who I am today. I'm not perfect. I'm still wishing to be someone else at the back of my head once in a while. I'm no angel. But I'm thankful that I've got the 'bad stuff' in the right places.

I am thankful for the things I have. I could be better than most, but I want more. I am not worried, why should I? When my God does not participate in a recession or any economic crisis? I am thankful to know that when I step out to accomplish God's plan, He is there to meet me and help me every step of the way. I need to step out. He won't direct a stationary object. God will only direct someone who is moving.

I am thankful for my husband. Because of him, I got new set of caring parents and 2 wonderful sisters. Well, people would still hear him tell stories about my tantrums like how I left our car in the middle of an intersection and threw the car keys away or how I scissored up his clothes and threw it over our neighbors' lawn (yup i like throwing things when I'm mad)...but he never gave up on me. At my worst, he was and he is this someone would stand up and say - she's just in that phase in her life, she'll come around. I might complain that there is no romantic bone in his body, but my husband brings out all the goodness in me. And for that, I am forever thankful.

I am thankful for my family. I have parents who fight a lot. In the old days, a classic example is electric fan flying across the room...that's an all time funny story for me and my siblings. And now the fighting is digital as well...they do it on FB...It could be annoying most of the time really...But I am thankful because amidst their fighting, they were able to bring 5 people to this world who's contributing good things to the society. Which brings me to the next thing I am thankful for...

I am thankful for my siblings. They are so loving that there won't be any moment in my life that I would hesitate to be there for them. I am the best eldest sister because of them. They are supportive and my responsibilities in the family is not complicated because of my two sisters and my two brothers.

I am thankful for my friends. I do have lots of friends. Of course the friendships' of different degree and levels. And my schedule's always toxic that I cant get to see anyone on a regular basis. But the good thing is, it doesn't compromise the value of the friendship. I am so blessed because of my POWER friends, the vixens, my MES buddies, Bri, Adette, Helena and my AM shift family, Rose and Barang...Wow...I think I'm gonna make some friends blackmail me for not mentioning their names haha, but no worries because I am sure they love me just the same.


Last, and I could say at some point, the least, I am thankful for my adversaries. I'm not saying I'm here to love them, I'm not that noble yet. But I am thankful for the pain, for the hurt, for the sleepless nights, for the anger. It made me realize, I am greater than the pain, than the hurt, than the anger. They could be optional in my life. However I am thankful for that opportunity to see that though life is not perfect, we have better choices.

So there you go...the things that I am thankful for...Happy Thanksgiving!